


Smiles Hid Broken Hearts and Tired Eyes

by Cherry_TheGenZ



Series: A Lifetime of Hurt, Healed With Time & Care [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (from the author), ADHD, Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Anxiety, Child Abuse, Dadza, Divorce, Forgetting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Self-Harm, Self-Projecting, Strict Parenting, Technoblade has Anger Issues ok, Trauma, anger issues, i forgot that tag, no beta we die like wilbur on skyblock, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:21:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry_TheGenZ/pseuds/Cherry_TheGenZ
Summary: Tommy's parents have been strict his entire life. When things start falling apart, he doesn't know what to do.--Wilbur's parents weren't always nice.--Techno hates. A lot.--Philza just wants everybody to feel better.--Centered around the destruction of everything Tommy knows of the world- and how these three help him rebuild it. It takes time, but maybe - eventually - Tommy can feel okay again.[or: the author really focuses on that hurt part of the hurt/comfort tag]
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: A Lifetime of Hurt, Healed With Time & Care [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051976
Comments: 312
Kudos: 2075





	1. The More You Try To Control Me...

**Author's Note:**

> Will become first part of a hurt/comfort series ((:
> 
> all i can say is welcome aboard :) 
> 
> to my fic in which i enjoy hurting my readers
> 
> Careful for triggers! There's a good amount of sensitive topics here, so please stay safe.
> 
> And do remember this is a fic where I, the author, self-project a lot. Although this fiction is not my real life, it does relate to real life situations! Just wanted to remind you all, not for anybody stepping out of line, but because I know there's a lot of you who relate to this, and I hope you all know there are others here and people you can talk to. If you want, you could even talk to me via rant in comments (even if I respond badly oops)
> 
> (ps: if anybody does want to do anything w this related on social media; for example share it- you're free to ! i love clout, just @ me! i have my social medias on my profile!)

Tommy, as a child, had been naive. And dumb. And stupid. Rose-colored glasses had covered his eyes, made him blind to the cuffs around his arms holding him down. It was only when he grew up more, did he realize how _different_ his lifestyle was compared to other kids.

Other kids got to go to birthday parties. Other kids had sleep-overs. Other kids could go out to a park. Other kids could go to friends’ houses. _Other kids could lock their room doors._

_Other kids_ were trusted by their parents. Trusted to not make stupid mistakes. Tommy had realized this somewhere along the way; _his parents didn’t trust him._

It was the only actual excuse that made sense to him. Maybe _protecting him_ made sense when he was younger, but as he reached a certain age of maturity and his parents still gave him so many restrictions he realized that his parents were strict and hypocrites and stupid idiots. 

First off; his phone. He couldn’t even _text_ his friends with curses - nope, he had to _censor_ himself there. His mom knew the password, and the one time he decided to change it, his mom immediately demanded he change it back. 

Maybe he was being overdramatic. He probably was for his phone - it was pretty normal for parents to check their kid’s texts, perfectly normal for them to not want him cursing every second to his friends.

Except he could never act like _himself._ It felt like a balancing act, the _Tommy at Home_ who was humorous but slightly awkward and sort of loud.. Compared to _Tommy at Anywhere But Home and With His Parents,_ who cursed and laughed loud, and talked, and was impulsive and got nervous sometimes. 

Tommy thought of himself as impulsive, loud, crude, annoying sometimes, and definitely self-confident. His _parents_ didn’t see this.

His parents only got to see the _him_ that he’d carefully crafted. They only knew the Tommy that just barely stayed under the radar, that answered all their questions perfectly to avoid their suspicion. 

However, it should go back to _why_ Tommy knows his parents are strict. There are multiple reasons, actually, as to why they are strict, and some as to why they were hypocrites.

  1. They don’t let him lock his room door. Ever. Not even if he’s changing.
  2. His phone. Limited to a few hours a day, texts watched over constantly.
  3. He can’t hang out with people, ever, unless his parents have had multiple meetings with their parents.
  4. They say his grades don’t matter as long as he tries but he tries and they still get mad



There are more reasons he could list. But that would take a while. 

It’s not as if these are the only things his parents have done to hurt him. These just constantly build up until he breaks down from the stress. 

An unhealthy process certainly, but the only one he can do quietly and by himself. It’s much better than if he were to lash out angrily. Because _despite_ popular belief, he’s self-aware enough to know his entire outside self is a result of his parents.

His _outer self_ to his friends is boisterous and impulsive and is mean because those are all the things he cannot be around his parents. _Defense Mechanisms_.

They usually hide the issues.

\--

Today was a bad day for Tommy. He had gotten a pop quiz in his worst subject, was paired up with one of the people he loathes for an assignment, and was essentially just angry today.

When he walks up the stairs, he slams his door.

_Gets yelled at._

He forgets to do his chore when he’s busy doing homework.

_Gets yelled at._

Sometimes, he just-

He wishes he could go on a walk. Do something to clear his head.

Instead, he’s sitting at his dining table, face blank as he tries to eat while his parents go over the same angry lecture of responsibilities and grades.

The food tastes especially bland.

\--

That night, Tommy hops in to the discord server he’s in with a couple other minecraft-players.

“Hey Tommy?” Philza asks, probably off fishing somewhere on their server.

Tommy hums, “Yeah?”

“Are you okay? You’ve been kinda.. Subdued today,” Philza asks tentatively. For a moment, Philza wishes he could see Tommy’s expression if only to see what the younger boy was thinking. But they had all agreed it would always be safer to keep their faces anonymous for now.

“Ah..it’s- just my parents again,” Tommy sighed, making Phil even more concerned. Normally, Tommy was loud and cursed a lot, but today he was quiet and doing his own thing. 

Tommy had before confided in them about his strict parents; how his parents didn’t even know he _had_ a discord. Tommy had _also_ said that he’s pretty much just waiting to turn 18 and be able to legally leave. 

Phil has always felt sorrow for the teen - all he had right now were bad memories of his home. Even Phil could see his parents were too overprotective and strict for it to be healthy - Tommy has, multiple times, angrily ranted about them for a few minutes in their chats, before mellowing out and asking if it’s normal, etc.

Phil could see Tommy didn’t really like people prying into his business, and there was nothing Phil could particularly do to help him anyways. For now though, he can give all the support he can.

“That sucks, Tommy. Do you wanna continue on that project you were working on then?”

Tommy soon returns to his boisterous self, and Phil is glad that Tommy seems better for now.

\--

That night, when Tommy is up and awake and on his social media (that his parents don’t know exist), he hears yelling downstairs. Frowning, he opens his door quietly ( _twist the knob all the way before turning it, that way there’s almost no noise when you open the door - same thing for closing it, too),_ to slowly walk down the stairs, careful that his shadow doesn’t show from the lights on in the kitchen.

It’s his mother, yelling at his father. He can only catch small bits of the argument _(its so, so loud),_ but from what he can hear, his dad did something bad.

_“Why were you out with her?!”_

_“It was- one-time”_

_“------ last Wednesday, you ------”_

_“I didn’t-----”_

_“ ---- lie!”_

_“Stop yelling!”_

_“You ---- sleep on the couch”_

Tommy took that as his cue to return to his room, gently closing the door before his mom made it up the stairs. He evened out his breathing while laying in his bed, trying not to think of the implications of the argument he had overheard. 

After his mother’s angry footsteps disappeared and her door was slammed shut, Tommy moved into a sitting-position on his bed. He _would_ have used his phone if not for limits that didn’t allow him to use it after 10pm; not even to text. Instead, he pulled out his laptop before deciding against it. Who would care about some stupid argument his parents had. He’d just be annoying and he’d probably sound childish too. It wasn’t _his_ fault that he was one of the youngest people on the discord server. 

It just- made him feel insecure. 

\--

Tommy had been ignoring the discord for about three days now - even when he was pinged to play minecraft, he didn’t answer. Normally this would just mean he’s busy or his parents are around, but after three consecutive days and without anything from Tommy, Phil was getting worried. He knew Wilbur was anxious as well; raising the jokes to cover his anxiety. Techno - well, Techno didn’t show his emotions very well, but you could tell he was concerned too. Especially when Techno admitted to PM-ing the teenager to see what was up.

Tommy _always_ responded to Techno’s PMs like- immediately.

In the voice chat, Phil sighed.

“Guys, what do you think is happening with Tommy?”

“Honestly.. I dunno, Phil. I dunno. Maybe it’s his parents again? Man, what if they got his laptop or something, he saved up _so_ long for that,” Wilbur answered, and Phil could practically see him running his hand nervously through his hair.

“Well, we can’t really do anything except wait for Tommy to get back to us,” Techno stated, blunt and monotone as ever. It helped let it settle in that they couldn’t even _help_ Tommy because they were all only discord friends. 

They let it sink in that Tommy was probably alone right now, facing _something_ that made the-dude-who-couldn’t-shut-up.. Go quiet for days.

\--

Tommy had noticed the tension in the house - his mom avoided his dad, his dad went to work earlier than usual. He could hear his mom’s sobs during the day when his dad left for work. One time, he overheard his mom call for a job interview.

His family was falling apart. 

It didn’t matter how strict they were - they were supposed to be _strict, and there over his shoulder, not feet away from each other every second of the day-_

They haven’t had dinner as a family for a while now. It’s always his mom giving him dinner and he’ll sit alone until he’s finished then go up to his room and text Tubbo.

He knows Tubbo understands - Tubbo’s parents went through a divorce when Tubbo was still young, so Tubbo must know _something_ about what’s happening in his household. 

\--

“Tubbo, mate, you don’t understand - they aren’t _talking_ to each other, we haven’t had dinner together in forever, hell, my mom’s thinking of getting a _job._ What else could it mean except a divorce?”

Tubbo shrugged, eyes concerned, “I dunno Tommy I just- I hope it turns out okay for you.”

Tommy’s gaze softens, “Me too, Big Law. Me too.”


	2. ..The More I'll Try to Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy does not have a good time.
> 
> \--
> 
> Wilbur doesn't have a good childhood, but he hopes Tommy will get one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> self-projecting the entire time for wilbur's part like a b o s s
> 
> have a good read 
> 
> TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, child-abuse

Tommy had finally decided to simply confront his mom about what was happening. He’d heard the arguments, and his dad was rarely home anymore.

“Mom.. I- what’s happening with you and Dad?”

_ It was the start of a conversation he wasn’t quite prepared for.  _

\--

Tommy sat down on the couch with his mom and dad sitting across from him. Normally, when they sat for a talk like this, Tommy would be anxious on just how much they’d bring down his self-confidence with their talk.

This time, he’s just concerned with the fate of his family.

_ (Is it his family? It seems broken. How can he- how can he fix it?) _

“Tommy, listen, we just.. Your father made a mistake, and I can’t accept that,” his mother started with. What mistake? Why can’t she forgive him?

His father speaks up, “I- we just lost our chemistry.”

What does this mean? What does he mean?

“Tommy, we’re getting a divorce.”

\--

_ Suddenly,  _ his jail bars had been broken. Was it.. Messed up? To be the slightest bit relieved that your chains are being cut, because something else is being ripped into pieces? To be glad that for the destruction of something else led to the slightest bit of freedom?

Tommy didn’t know what to think. It was stupid.  _ Absolutely  _ stupid. 

His dad was moving out to a different apartment, and he and his mom were moving to another apartment as well. The two had decided that his mom would take care of him until the-

Until the divorce. 

They were selling the house.

_ His home. _

Tommy doesn’t think about how now, his mom works at a job late until night. The first night in their new apartment, with noises outside too loud for Tommy to fall asleep, his mind too much of a mess to allow him rest - he decides to talk to his discord friends. He hasn’t in days by now. He hasn’t even told Tubbo about the divorce coming in the near future. 

_ TommyInnit is typing . . . _

_ TommyInnit _

_ im back losers _

_ WilburSoot, Technoblade Never Dies, and Ph1lza are typing . . .  _

_ WilburSoot _

_ holy frick tommy ur alive _

_ Ph1lza _

_ Tommy! You’re back finally where have you been _

_ Technoblade Never Dies _

_ The child has returned _

_ TommyInnit _

_ Im not a child you all are just old boomers _

_ WilburSoot _

_ Well f you too  _

_ Ph1lza _

_ Tommy you never answered my question _

Tommy winced. Maybe he should take a page from Techno’s book and be very blunt and upfront about it.

_ TommyInnit _

_ My parents are getting a divorce _

_ Technoblade Never Dies is typing . . . _

_ Technoblade Never Dies and Ph1lza are typing . . . _

_ DreamWasTaken is typing . . . _

_ Technoblade Never Dies _

_ How are you feeling abt it _

_ Ph1lza _

_ Well shoot, do u know the plans for custody? _

_ DreamWasTaken _

_ Man hate when parents do that divorce  _

_ it sucks just know its not ur fault ever _

_ Its theirs if anything _

_ TommyInnit _

_ Thanks Big D _

_ Also blade idk it frickin sucks..  _

_ Also no dadza, i do not, thats big law’s stuff _

_ Ph1lza _

_ Well Tommy I hope everything turns out okay for you _

_ Glad to see you talking to us again we were all worried _

_ WilburSoot _

_ Maybe keep us updated?  _

_ Technoblade Never Dies _

_ Yes tell us if you become an orphan i’ll dropkick you into Phil’s arms : ) _

_ TommyInnit _

_ Blade what the frick _

_ Ph1lza _

_ Technoblade that is  _ not  _ legal _

_ WilburSoot _

_ Techno he never said hed be against it prepare the documents _

_ Technoblade Never Dies _

_ Guess im dropkicking an orphan finally _

Tommy grinned - he  _ knew  _ his friends were good and would care, but he’d been nervous nonetheless. It was a relief that they cared. Techno was a bit concerning, but he was really happy.

Happier than he had been for the past few days.

He heard keys unlocking the front door - his mom was back.

_ TommyInnit _

_ Gtg my mums back _

_ Technoblade Never Dies _

_ I will not sleep but goodnight _

_ WilburSoot _

_ Get sleep you gremlin _

_ Ph1lza _

_ Goodnight Tommy _

_ DreamWasTaken _

_ Night rat child _

Tommy closed his computer, tucking it into the backpack in the corner of his room. He peered through his room door for his mom - he normally watched to make sure she didn’t stumble on her way to her bedroom.

Instead, a man is helping her walk to her bedroom, and Tommy feels sick.

_ Who is that? _

Tommy doesn’t want to know why a strange man is helping his mother to her bedroom, why his mother seems drunk off her arse, or who he is to his mother.

He hopes for a moment it’s a coworker, some random coworker who was stuck helping her home after some sort of work-party where she drank too much. His hopeful thoughts are smashed into pieces when the man kisses his mother on the forehead and she gives a dopey grin.

The man seems to bring her into her bedroom, before walking out and closing the door. The stranger walks out of the apartment after leaving the keys on the counter.

And Tommy is outraged. 

He grabs his backpack with his laptop but leaves his phone, grabs a couple of shirts and pants and he walks to Tubbo’s house. Well, actually, he walks to his old house and then Tubbo’s house but never let it be said that TommyInnit is bad at directions.

\--

It’s dark, and cold out, but Tubbo’s normally awake right now anyways, busy playing Minecraft.

Tommy rings his doorbell, backpack over his shoulders. 

“Tubbo?”

A click is heard from the door being unlocked, and there’s Tubbo opening the door, eyes tired but clearly not from somebody who’d been woken up.

“Tommy? What’re you doin’ here?” Tubbo rubs his eyes, but opens the door for Tommy to come in even with no answer. Tommy walks in, glad to be rid of the cold air.

Tommy begins to ramble, “I dunno, some random man came in and my mum was drunk and he left but I still don’t wanna be there, it isn’t home or anything and I just can’t be there right now, alright?”

Tubbo, the best person ever, just nodded and brought Tommy to his bedroom. 

The two stayed up playing video games until an hour before school, and in the morning, when Tubbo’s moms found Tommy and Tubbo sleeping on the floor, they just text Tommy’s mom where he is, and that’s the end of it. 

Well, and they wake Tommy and Tubbo up, because they’re going to be late.

\--

Tommy doesn’t want to go home. Going home to the apartment would mean confronting his mom, steeling his nerves to get past her disappointed looks, pushing down his emotions.

“Dammit, Tubbo, do I have to?” Tommy grumbles angrily, although Tubbo knows it’s not directed at him.

“I mean, you don’t have to, but it’s probably good if you maybe talk to her, you know?” 

Tommy sighs, “Alright then, I’ll go, but I can and will come back to your house.”

Tubbo just smiles, nudging Tommy with his shoulder as the two walk to their shared Math class. 

\--

Wilbur wishes he could help Tommy more. Wishes he could safely bring Tommy away from his parents, away from it all, because that’s one thing they have in common: a want for freedom. Tommy himself waits to turn 18, and Wilbur when turning 18- had immediately gotten an apartment of his own. 

Wilbur’s parents were nice most of the time, actually. His mom was hard-working and reliable. His dad worked for their family and was normally pretty lenient with things.

His parents were nice, except for when they weren’t.

When they got mad, they got  _ angry.  _ They got so mad, they forgot who they were and forgot that they would  _ never hit their child. _

They hit their child.

It was worse, when Wilbur was younger and didn’t know how to avoid their anger better. It was worse, when Wilbur was younger and didn’t know how to ignore the pain, or even prefer the stinging pain. They’d break plastic hangers on his thighs, would slap his cheek, and sometimes make it even worse.

_ A wire or cord, at some point, hit on his thighs. The physical pain doesn’t even hurt as badly. It’s the confusion, really. _

His mom always said she loved him, every time he hurt him, it hurt her. But if that was  _ true,  _ why did she hurt him? Why didn’t she talk it out like other parents? Why did she hit him by instinct?

Younger Wilbur had no answers to these questions. Older Wilbur did.

Older Wilbur knew how to shut down his emotions. Older Wilbur knew that it didn’t matter how much they hurt him as long as it didn’t bruise. Older Wilbur knew he just had to wait to move out. Older Wilbur knew he couldn’t set off his parents. Older Wilbur knew his grandparents hit his parents and yelled at his parents and that’s why his parents hit and yelled at him. 

Older Wilbur knew his mom tried to forget the bad memories. Older Wilbur knew his dad just didn’t care, didn’t want to admit to ever hurting their kid.

Older Wilbur knew his mom blocked out every time they yelled at or hit him. Older Wilbur knew that the  _ moment  _ his mom asked  _ When have we ever hit you? _

And Wilbur laughed. 

His mind answered  _ you made my childhood hell! You made me want to  _ **_die!_ ** _ You made me dig my nails into my skin, ruined it and built me up only to push me down onto the ground! What do you  _ **_mean_ ** _ when have we ever hit you? _

And it was at this moment Wilbur realized that it only really affected him. His parents might’ve been slightly affected, but not  _ really.  _ They didn’t feel scared in their own home. They didn’t feel worried anytime somebody got slightly mad at them.

They didn’t flinch at shadows sometimes.

They weren’t  _ broken down  _ by unfair treatment, and then told that they were  _ overthinking and overreacting. _

Wilbur hated his parents, for doing that all to him. He hated them for it. It made him sick everytime they asked for a hug. It made him sick to his stomach sometimes, thinking about how toxic they actually are sometimes.

But at the same time, there were long periods of time where there was peace and joy and happiness. Moments where he truly loved his parents. Moments that made it worth it to be on this planet.

And then they’d break that illusion of everything being a nightmare. The nightmare is  _ reality,  _ and Wilbur was stuck in it.

Until he escaped. He got out, he got his own apartment, got a job after college, and only saw his parents once or twice each year. 

He felt  _ safe  _ in his own home. 

He just wanted Tommy to feel safe and at home in his own living space, too. 


	3. A Pocket of Red, Toxic Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red hot anger.
> 
> \--
> 
> The uncomfortable feeling of a toxic lecture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Self-Projecting ? onto both techno and tommy this time ?! you wouldn't believe it

Today was not a good day. Technoblade did not like today. It’s days like these he hates, because he gets angry.

He gets so  _ angry  _ it is  _ painful.  _ His vision seems to turn red and all he can think of is the  _ best  _ way to hurt the target of his anger. He won’t feel guilty about it in the moment, if that target is who made him angry in the first place. 

He hates, hates, and hates. He gets angry. He  _ knows  _ he should be calmer. He knows holding grudges is childish.

But his feelings boil to an angry red, and all he knows is to give sarcastic quips meant to maim and injure. It angers him  _ even  _ more when the one who angers him acts like  _ they did nothing. _

So he gets mad, he gets angry, then he’ll walk away and give himself space. People who intrude foolishly simply cannot detect his anger, and he easily scares them away.

Then, after the anger passes, all he feels is guilty. 

He hates, and hates, and hates-

And hates himself, most of all.

Because angry leads to sad and guilty and then that leads to self-hatred and so he  _ hates. Hates  _ those making him angry.  _ Hates  _ getting angry.  _ Hates himself  _ for  _ getting  _ angry.

It’s like a never-ending cycle, even if he knows getting angry and having emotions is totally valid, he still hates himself for holding grudges. He still hates the person he becomes when he’s mad.

Because he  _ knows  _ he’s hurting people and he  _ enjoys it.  _ Angry Technoblade hurts and hurts and spreads their hate onto others and he  _ hates  _ Angry Technoblade.

So he secludes himself. He distances himself, walks ten paces backwards from everybody.

It’s better for him. Really.

It’s better for him, and better for everybody else. It simply  _ is. _

\--

Phil believes he knows his three friends well. Tommy is impulsive everywhere he can, because under the watch of his parents he’s subdued. Wilbur’s been suicidal, self-harmed, had abusive parents - but is pretty stable considering now he’s away from his parents. Techno has serious anger issues, self-hatred, and hates rejection.

Phil knows his friends well. And although he might not be close enough physically to them, he normally tries to keep them relatively healthy. 

But right now he’s at a loss. How is he supposed to help Tommy, from miles away? 

Phil frowns and closes the discord app.

\--

Tommy steps into the apartment, hoping his mom won’t pull him into a conversation. Unluckily for him, the world seems to hate him, and his mom tells him to sit on the couch. 

“Tommy, I- I  _ know  _ this divorce will be hard for you, but you need to understand that just because of that, you can’t run away!” his mom began, Tommy already dreading the lecture that was sure to happen.

It would consist of his mom assuming she knows exactly what he’s thinking, then his mom subtly guilt-tripping him, and then Tommy would have to act like he was sorry about everything and that he’d be better. Then Tommy would go to his room and seclude himself. His mom would probably take his phone away, too.

Tommy looked on with tired eyes before shifting his face into one that matches what his mom  _ wants  _ to see. As usual, all he feels is impassiveness and slight resentment. His mom is right there, breathing and reprimanding him but he couldn’t feel further.

“Tommy, I really don’t know what’s been going on with you. What’s wrong? Is it something at school? Are you stressed?” she asked, worry showing clearly on her face.

Tommy could make up all the words he wished to say in his mind. He could make paragraphs,  _ books,  _ even. He’d say the right thing and it would all be over. But he couldn’t. 

His mouth wouldn’t open to speak the words he wanted to say. He couldn’t say  _ no, nothing’s wrong at school, it’s at home, our family’s clearly falling apart.  _ Why? Because his mom would surely react badly.

So instead, he said exactly what she wanted to hear, “I dunno Mom, I’m just feeling..tired.”

“Tommy, I’ve told you  _ multiple  _ times to sleep! This is your own fault, sleep is important. You’re obviously stressed, it shows on your face. God, I  _ knew  _ you’d act up like this again,” she sighs, forehead scrunched up as she sighs angrily. And Tommy  _ hates  _ this. His mom constantly acting like she knows him better than he knows himself.

Tommy doesn’t say anything, instead letting her rant.

“This is hard for me, too, you know? You’re not the only one hurting!” his mother exclaimed, looking towards Tommy, “I know it’s hard without your father, but you need to grow up Tommy. Life will always throw curveballs at you.”

Tommy doesn’t want to speak. He doesn’t want to be the ‘perfect son’ she wants him to be. But he internally sighs and instead speaks up, “I’m sorry. I just missed our house, and I went to see it, and then it was dark so I went to Tubbo’s house.”

The lie comes out easily, and he can tell exactly where his mom believes it. Her glare softens and she brings him into a hug.

The hug was probably supposed to be comforting. But it only made him feel trapped.

In the end, she grounds him and almost threatens ‘separating him from Tubbo’. He knows it’s an empty threat, but if she ever really did try doing so, he’d have no real reason to stay in this house. 

Tommy sighed, walking to his room after hugging his mother in a ‘sign of forgiveness’. 

Laying on his bed, he still has his laptop since ‘his phone is the problem’. Tommy wishes he could lock his room door, but then his mom would be suspicious so instead he closes it and doesn’t try putting in headphones. This way, he could hear if his mom came to the room through the thin apartment walls.

Tommy opened up his computer, going to the discord website, then heading to the Dream SMP discord server and opening a certain text channel. 

_ TommyInnit is typing . . . _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry its been so long since i posted oops
> 
> really do hope you like this : )
> 
> (follow my twitter! @c_thegenz give me cloutttt)


	4. The #Vent Channel has a Use

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking about your problems is hard. Insecurities can eat you alive. Luckily, Tommy has friends on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this seems late, I'm gonna be honest here, I just made a plot right now for this :'D  
> love yall <3

Tommy hesitated. What if his friends judged him? They weren’t like that, they wouldn’t say it out loud.. But what if they thought so? 

What if he’s being a nuisance? Annoying. Bothersome. 

Instead, he carefully types out what he wants to say.

_ Sorry I’ve been offline lately- _

Wait no, scratch that. Normal Tommy wouldn’t say sorry.

_ So you know how my parents are getting a divorce _

Does that sound stupid? Does that sound awkward? It seems awkward. It feels awkward. God, he hates sharing his personal thoughts with people. But at the same time, he needs-  _ he needs somebody right now.  _ So he continues his message.

_ So ive mentioned how my parents are strict and it sucks and i hate it but uh the divorce is so weird  _

__

_ Im so used to them being strict and right there always watching but now im staying w only my mom and its so strange _

_ Like i hate it so much but idk what to really do  _

_ I ran to my friends house and stayed the night but after school went back to the apartment n my mom and i talked and she took my phone and _

_ I hate how i could see through everything she said and i hate that it feels so uncomfortable here i just _

_ I need to talk about it and i guess i need support and actually saying this is weird bc i feel like a burden on you guys but also you guys are awesome big men who wouldnt pull that on me so im sending this even tho its scary bc im not a coward _

Tommy takes in a deep breath and hits send. He waits for a bit to see if anybody immediately responds, but then closes his computer to try doing homework.

\--

Phil knew that out of his three ( _ kids)  _ friends, although Tommy seemed like he’d be the most confident, he was also the most insecure. He was younger than the rest of them, less mature (although that was clear to see). 

Tommy almost never used the vent channel in their discord, but Phil usually responded to anything in the vent channel, wanting all of his friends to feel okay mentally.

He was.. Shocked to say the least, seeing Tommy’s username pop up under the somewhat long message. Scanning through, he felt both empathy for the teen - but at the same time, he was happy Tommy was opening up to them. The last time he saw Tommy in the vent channel it was him just barely mentioning that his parents are strict. 

Phil’s full of concern for his friend, and so he types out a reply, even if Tommy’s icon shows that he’s now offline.

\--

It’s already the next day when Tommy goes to check his discord; early in the morning when his mom isn’t awake. He’s surprised to find multiple replies to his vent from last night.

_ Ph1lza _

_ I’m glad you’re opening up to us Tommy and it sucks having your parents divorce, it sucks even more that you had to leave to make yourself feel better _

_ Sometimes you just have to wait it out until you can move out honestly _

_ Just know that we’re always here to support you because you’re our friend alright? _

_ WilburSoot _

_ ^^  _

_ Exactly what dad said, ur like a brother to me ! and i’ll always be here to support you :) _

_ Technoblade Never Dies _

_ Adding ppl to the kill list once again ? as expected _

_ As you know tho, also here to support u always. And also murder people for you. That too. And yknow what? Only a year until you can start gaining money, and only three years till u can leave. So just hang in there _

Tommy…

Tommy expected kind words, support. These three in particular he was so close to, and he valued their opinions  _ so  _ much. They were everything to him (other than Tubbo), and he was so glad they wanted to support him. 

Maybe it was weird, considering he knows what type of people they are, but he still feels anxious when sharing anything about him. He knows he’s loud, rambunctious, and not always the most aware of other people’s feelings. He knows they wouldn’t leave him there, he knows they’d never hate him, but his brain whispers the opposite to him all the time. 

His insecurities want to eat him alive, but his friends always help stop them; his friends fight off the insecurities without even knowing it; their kind words making his day already so much better - there’s nothing else he could ask for. 

_ TommyInnit _

_ Thanks guys _

Tommy feels so much more mentally stable - like he’s not about to shatter into pieces anymore. He feels  _ steady.  _ Like for  _ once,  _ he’s prepared for the day. Like he can make it through without collapsing, without breaking down - he feels all the better with support from his friends; from his  _ family.  _

Tommy grabs his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and popping into the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. He has time, and he’s actually in the mood to eat something in the morning.

After eating some toast, he pulls on his backpack and walks out the door, not noticing the mens shoes laying in front of the door that were not there yesterday. Tommy goes to school, feeling better than he has in days, oblivious to the man in his mother’s bed.

\--

The trial for custody is this weekend; although Tommy’s pretty sure his mom will gain custody more than he believes his dad will. It’ll be.. Different, but he thinks he could deal without the subtle sexism from his father, even if he instead has to deal with all of his mother’s restrictions and guilt-tripping. 

Two more days until custody is decided, to which Tommy is sure his mom will gain, and then.. Well, life will go on. Tommy doesn’t really know what will happen, but he does know that he’ll have his friends on his side.

_ (until his friends are the only people on his side) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my twitter ! give me clout ! @c_thegenz


	5. Laws, Farewells, Hellos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The custody case.
> 
> Simple, yet changing everything.
> 
> One thing leads to another, and Tommy can barely comprehend any of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super late I know; I'm super sorry.
> 
> I had Thanksgiving Break and forgot to mention I'd probably post very little as my family loves celebrating holidays plus it was my little sister's bday that week. I'm still exhausted haha
> 
> I hope you enjoy this even if it is a bit anticlimatic ! i couldn't go into the custody case as much as i wanted as i was not feeling it, but i was feeling like angst. so i focused on that.
> 
> please enjoy !!! ALSO: i have something to talk about in end notes (:

Unsurprisingly, the court case is simple - custody is given to Tommy’s mother. His dad seemed uncaring - apparently, his mother and father had already discussed their plans for custody.

His mother would get full custody, while his father would pay child support.

The judge was content with following these plans, while Tommy simply wondered how his parents were simply going through with this, as if it was planned out, as if they’d never been in love at all.

The entire time, Tommy had been silent. The court asked him whose custody he’d prefer, but to be honest, Tommy found no reason to disagree. After all, his parents had already  _ decided _ on his future - to be with his mother.

Most of all, he only had two years until he could leave.  _ Two  _ years until he could leave.

He could survive two years ( _ right?) _ .

\-- 

  
  


“Tommy, your father is leaving for America now- he came by to say goodbye,” Tommy’s mother tells him, but Tommy can  _ see _ how his mother does not care, not a single bit. How did she move on, so quickly? Or did she not care in the first place? Tommy doesn’t know, he doesn’t  _ want  _ to know. 

“Alright,” Tommy says. He doesn’t want to go outside, to say goodbye to his father to not see him for such a long time, to what seems like a permanent leave of what used to be a constant presence in his life. 

Things are changing so quickly, spinning around him so fast he barely has time to react to them. It feels like he’s constantly about to break down, constantly on the edge of falling.

He takes a deep breath and walks outside.

\--

Outside is the car his dad has driven for a year or so - his dad had one day out of the blue bought a new car for himself, and on that day he drove Tommy around the neighborhood. 

For a moment, Tommy just stares at his dad who stands next to his car, waiting for him to say  _ something.  _

_ Anything. _

_ Say you’re sorry. Say you wish you gained custody. Say you’ll miss me. Say you wish you didn’t have to go. Explain why you’re leaving. Say  _ **_something._ **

His dad doesn’t say a thing. Disappointment fills his entire being, and he doesn’t bother looking up into his dad’s eyes. His jaw feels heavy as he tries to lift it, his throat seeming dry as he tries to say something. Just barely, he manages to speak up.

“So, this is goodbye.”   
  
God, he should’ve said anything else. But he couldn’t. His mind was so full of emotions and thoughts he could barely speak them aloud.

He had questions, had confessions, had so much to say but that was all he could utter.

His dad makes a humming sound, the only acknowledgement he receives.

“Bye,” his dad says, climbing back into the car. Tommy stays there as his dad drives away, having said only one word to his own flesh and blood. His dad just abandons him, and the feeling finally settles in with Tommy.

Tommy shouldn’t have come out after all. 

\--

Tommy lays in his bed, curled up in the blankets - it’s so  _ cold.  _ He can barely process all of today’s events. They felt so close, yet so far away from him. Like he was watching from the view of somebody that  _ wasn’t  _ him. 

If only that were true. If only it were a movie he was watching, one where the main character has a tragic background such as this. It’s funny, thinking of the painful things happening to him now as a  _ tragic background. _

But one day, it will just be his tragic backstory. He’ll grow, years will pass, and eventually the pain he feels right now will be a distant memory. 

It helps him look up for the future.

\--

And then that  _ small, little  _ bit of hope - barely a baby bird flying out of its nest-

Fell. Plummeted to the ground so quickly it was like it was never there.

There his mom sits, in the living room with the coworker from that night. Tommy recognizes the man’s dark black hair, his dark brown eyes, his glasses.

“Tommy, this is my boyfriend.”   
  
And Tommy’s world  _ falls apart,  _ worse than it did, worse than when the divorce was announced, worse than when his dad left, worse in so many ways because his mother just moved on so quickly, so fast and suddenly the world’s events were rushing around him and he was only a spectator unable to do  _ anything- _

“Hello, Tommy,” the man says, bringing Tommy out of his panic. Tommy’s face must be pale, but he somehow pushes these thoughts out of his mind.

“Hi,” Tommy responds, not looking at the man directly. 

“I’m Richard. I know it’ll be hard getting used to me, but I hope soon you can welcome me in your home,”  _ Richard  _ smiles. Tommy feels sick, because he knows exactly what those words imply, hears the  _ pity  _ in those words.

“Yeah. Well, Mom, I have work to do in my room, so bye.”   
  
Tommy walks to his room, ignoring his mom asking him to stay.

_ Seriously, if she was going to date anybody, she had to choose somebody basically called Dick. _

\--

This time, Tommy sits on the floor of his bathroom, barely able to contain the wave of emotions threatening to drown him. He should be  _ used  _ to these intense emotions, he should be able to  _ breathe,  _ but all he can do is hold his hands near his chest as he struggles to let air enter his lungs. 

His thoughts are a mess, tumbling around his mind with only faint whispers. His head is  _ too loud,  _ it’s so terribly loud and Tommy feels like crying, singing,  _ anything  _ to replace his own thoughts.    
  
Tommy sits there, trying to let his thoughts be sorted out. Nothing helps, and he can barely comprehend the situation of his father leaving and then his mother suddenly getting a boyfriend. It feels like a betrayal, but he can’t dwell on it so long. Finally, he gets up from his bathroom floor to enter his room. He has half a mind to talk to his discord friends, but he feels like he needs a bit to compute. 

He’s exhausted, and he lies in bed with his blanket curled around him, and he lets his exhaustion take him as he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so first off ! 
> 
> i think of this fic as 'tommy arc' and all those chapters planned out as tommy arc. but i also want to do a heartbroken gogy, (endgame dreamnotnap maybe ending?) idk. i enjoy these hurt/comfort series ! 
> 
> of course this is all future speculation but,,, if i did turn this into a hurt/comfort series would you enjoy it ? 
> 
> (i know some people don't enjoy fics with shipping, but i try to follow ccs boundaries and i dont think im hurting anybody, since you have a choice in what content to consume as a reader - trust me when i say i will alter or delete fics if they violate ccs boundaries, i've done it before ) 
> 
> along w this im constantly working on different one-shots; fundy-centric ones, more for my bamf niki series, etc. I love writing and giving out content and i love all of you ! thank you for reading the work and this end note <3


	6. Stinging Cheeks, Teary Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard is not good.
> 
> \--
> 
> His mother is not on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than usual but I hope you enjoy it ! I know, it's been only four days since I updated and although I have no schedule, I think that's quicker than usual (spoiling you all with a new chapter so i can self-promo,,)
> 
> Anyways, pain.
> 
> i have an end note for self-promo haha (:

Tommy returns home after school, his backpack pulled over his shoulder and planning to head straight to his room to get some work done or even just relax on discord for a bit.

“Hello, Tommy,” Richard - or _Dick_ as Tommy prefers calling the man in his head - greets. Tommy hates the man, despises the person who represents his ruined family, and so he passes right by the man.

“Is that _any_ way to treat your soon-to-be stepfather?” Richard asks, anger clear in his voice, but Tommy doesn’t care, until-

A sharp, stinging pain on Tommy’s cheek. He looks to _Richard_ in shock, but the man doesn’t seem the slightest bit apologetic. Tommy silently raises his hand to his cheek, anger rising in him.

But he can’t bring himself to say a word, the curses he wants to yell stuck in his throat as he tries his best to push them out - yet all he can do is stare in shock at the man who was brought into their home by his own mother.

Tommy wants to _scream,_ to _yell,_ to show this man that he cannot simply _disrespect him like this,_ but it’s so deeply taught into him to never yell at his elders or any adults at all that all he can do is glare and mutter curses under his breath as he walks into his room.

He’s appalled, angry - he wishes he could go out and angrily yell at the man. He has a million conversations in his mind where he curses out the man, shows him how he feels-

But as always he can’t say a thing. He cannot choke out the words no matter how hard he tries, and he hates this, hates how he’s conditioned to never say his own opinions or feelings because all it does is hurt him.

He resolves himself to at least tell his mother, because no matter what, Richard literally made a _dick move,_ and Dick (as Tommy took to call him) had no right to _lay a hand on him!_

\--

“Mom, Richard _slapped_ me, with no reason at all- you have to break up with him or something, he _hit_ me-” Tommy told his mother later that day, when Richard had a different shift and he knew his mother would be home. 

He expects her to immediately kick Richard out, expects her to tell him that she’ll work it out, expects her to panic and fuss over his cheek-

Instead, she sighs. Sighs, as if Tommy is an annoyance, a bother, and he _isn’t,_ he really _isn’t,_ but she sighs as if he is one and he can’t get the insecurities out of his _head._

“Tommy, I know you’re not liking the thought of him being like a dad, but you shouldn’t lie to try getting him out. Richard wouldn’t do that! And if he did, I’m sure he was just disciplining you. Your father and I clearly didn’t do well…” His mom says, and Tommy’s heart _falls._ It shatters and the pieces are left on the floor because his mom _doesn’t_ believe him, furthermore his mom is _disappointed_ in him.

He runs out of the room, to his own bedroom to lock the door quietly and collapse on the floor, hot tears running down his cheeks as he chokes back a sob with his hand.   
  
What type of mother believes somebody over her own _son?_ What type of mother doesn’t care that her boyfriend _hit_ her child?   
  
Is it- is it something wrong with him?   
  
Is it his fault?   
  
Did he do something wrong, to make his mother not care? To make his mother just- _let that go?_ As if Tommy wasn’t in pain, as if Tommy’s feelings didn’t matter, and it _hurt._ Hurt more than the slap from Richard, hurt more than his father leaving him, because if anything his _mother_ should be behind him. His mother should be behind him, not disappointed in him - but his father should be here as well, and his parents shouldn’t be divorced according to him. 

Tommy’s beginning to think that _nothing_ he believes is right.

The strange feeling of confusion, of not believing what is happening to him swirls around in his head, giving a mix of hurt and refusal and confusion. His head almost hurts from the overwhelming wave of emotions, and he can barely think over his loud emotions.

It hits him hard, in uncontrollable sobs, his mother’s words flashing through his mind, the stinging of his cheek from earlier. 

He wants his cage back, his jail cell back, because at least it was safe here, but now he feels that now he’s _free,_ he’s more free to hurt. 

Tommy gets up from the floor near his door, moving to his bed because he’s so _cold_ and he-

He wishes he could get a hug, some sort of comfort but in this place there is nobody by his side. But for now, all he can do is hug his blankets tight as tears fall from his eyes. He lays, feeling lifeless as he lets the stress fall from his eyes in liquid form, feeling as if things have spiraled far worse than he could’ve imagined.   
  
His eyes are tired of crying, his body warm from the cuddled blankets, and he closes his eyes and falls asleep, not wanting to stay awake only to feel the hurt in his chest. 

He sleeps, hoping he sleeps past dinner so he doesn’t need to face his mom or Richard, hoping he’ll sleep the year away, wishing he could sleep until he was eighteen and wake up and escape all his problems.

But that won’t happen, so he closes his eyes and sleeps and tries to forget about the hurt in his life, the betrayal, all his negative feelings swirling in his chest as he falls unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~! Lovely to see you checked this out. Anyways, I'm starting another multichap which might not be smart but i'm making a slowburn ghost gogy au; dreamnotfound (:
> 
> its called 'To Remember the Life One Lived'
> 
> aka the first strictly dnf work i'm making ! 
> 
> but please do check it out,, i love the clout i get from writing and i'd love it if you just check it out and see if it's interesting !
> 
> love you guys !! ty for reading !
> 
> (edit: im not seeing the hits or kudos rise on my other fic >:( i give yall a new chapter and this is what you do /j im joking dont cancel me)


	7. Pulling Down Sleeves to Hide Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard gets worse. His mom does not care.
> 
> \--
> 
> Tubbo is always there for him.
> 
> \--
> 
> Abuse kills the soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW//Mentioned/Implied Child Abuse (summary at end note)
> 
> i'm really spoiling you guys i just updated yesterday and look at me go (:
> 
> (this is because over christmas break im probably going to disappear lmao)

Days pass, and Tommy’s gotten used to Richard’s mood swings. One moment, it’ll be okay, and then Richard will lash out violently.

His mother quietly ignores this, and Tommy ignores the throbbing pain in his chest as her eyes never direct onto him. The blue irises, a replica of his own eyes, never focus onto him, even when his arm is grabbed so tightly it leaves bruises. It hurts more than anything physically, because Tommy knows his mom’s abandoned him.

Tommy’s life is void, gone of color, full of bruises on his arms, harsh words belittling his every move hidden under smiles, and cold eyes that used to be warm with love.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Tommy was tired of the dull pain he felt each day, tired of tugging down his sleeves hoping nobody caught on to the fact that he wasn't okay. That he hasn't been okay for days, for weeks, since the court day. 

He wishes, distantly - laying on his bed with blank eyes and exhaustion not from lack of sleep weighing down heavily on him - that his dad had gained custody. But things hadn't gone his way, weren't going his way - all it did was hurt. 

He was simply exhausted. Tired. Every day Tommy wished to stay asleep longer and longer, if only so he wouldn't have to be awake. 

Tommy was _tired._

Everyday, Richard got worse - getting angry over the smallest things, yelling, hitting - and yet Tommy’s mother never once said a thing against Richard.

Tommy’s mother looked at him as if he was a bother, as if he deserved the pain happening to him, but he can’t _understand._

_What did he do wrong?_ _  
_ _  
_ Common sense tells him he did nothing, that he doesn’t deserve the pain, the bruises, yet when everybody you care about screams the complete opposite, what is he to do?   
  
All he can do is believe them.

\--

Tommy frowns, pulling down his hoodie sleeves. His arm has a bruise, not one too visible but enough so that he decided to wear long sleeves. It was warm in the hoodie, but it was better than saying something and getting hurt even worse.

It’s strange, because Tommy _knows_ he could tell somebody, but then where would he be? Would they help him, or tell him he deserves it? It wasn’t normal, Tommy _knew_ it was abuse, but his mom did nothing to stop Richard and it made him falter.

It wasn’t as if Richard hit his mother, so surely- he must be the problem.

Tommy sighs, checking the time to make sure Richard had left for work as he leaves the apartment to walk to school.

_(Before, his mother drove him to school and reminded him to eat breakfast, but now she doesn’t even look at him. Tommy thinks it’s because he looks a lot like his dad.)_

\--

Breathing feels like suffocating in a way, today. As if his chest will close up on him and leave him dead. He wouldn’t quite mind it.

He hates Richard, hates him with every part of him, but leaving Richard would mean leaving his mother and he furiously loves the woman who made him, even with what she’s done, and he can’t stand losing the last shred of his home life.

\--

It is cold later, and Tommy is glad for the hoodie. But he feels as if he should be _cold,_ as if being warm is a pleasure he doesn’t deserve.

A black shadow appears near him, and he flinches, looking back. Tubbo’s hand has stopped near his shoulder. Tommy notices the sad, knowing look - not pitiful, because Tubbo isn’t somebody who gives pity no matter how he seemed he would - and he looks away.

“Hey, Big T,” Tommy says after a moment of silence. Tubbo carefully sits on the bench next to Tommy, the leaves on the nearby tree swaying in the wind.

“Hi, Tommy,” Tubbo smiles, but Tommy can see the concern just barely hidden under the surface. In every universe, Tommy feels like Tubbo would be with him _(“Please escort Tommy out of my country-”)_ and on his side at all times. 

There’s a long moment of silence before Tubbo speaks up, “How has life been?”  
  
And of course Tubbo knows better than to ask if he’s okay, because Tommy would break down because he’s _not_ okay, and he can’t just say he’s tired because he couldn’t lie to Tubbo.

“Not that great,” Tommy humorlessly chuckles. It’s a chuckle to fill the silence, a laughter of self-pity, and Tubbo recognizes it as such.

“Well, guess life will just have to get better then, yeah?” Tubbo says, softly nudging Tommy’s shoulder. 

Tommy knows that right here, he could tell his best friend all his troubles and Tubbo would help him. But for some strange reason, he can’t call out for help, can’t even quietly admit to the pain he feels.

He wonders if it's his pride or his fear talking, “It will.”  
  
The two sit in comfortable silence, basking in each other’s presence until the bell rings. Tommy knows of all things, Tubbo’s by his side, because Tubbo is his closest friend. Just as Tommy would be with him.

A small weight is lifted off his chest, simply at the realization he’s not alone. It feels like something so obvious, something he should’ve known for a while now, but Tommy still smiles.

\--

Abuse isn’t always physical. It seems like it doesn’t always show, but it really does. People leave their issues on display waiting for somebody to help them all the time.

Abuse, as said, is not always physical. It’s not just bloody noses, bruises on pale skin, or breaking hangers.

It can be in sharp words that stay in your mind, that grasp onto your every thought and make you second-guess every move.

It can be in turning away from one you should care the most for.

Abuse comes in many shapes, forms, sizes. 

No matter what, it is always the fault of the abuser. Perhaps they had a reason, perhaps they were raised that way and therefore raised their kids as such. Perhaps there is something truly sick and vile about the way they think.

But always, the victim is the most hurt.

It is hard to heal from abuse. It is ingrained into your very soul that they hurt you in any way because there was something wrong with _you._ Because when everybody you looked up to looked at you and told you there was something utterly _wrong_ with you, you grow to think the same.

You start thinking _you_ in general are a wrong existence.

You’re wrong. Maybe you’ll realize it, but your existence is yours alone regardless of who brought you into this world, they are not the one living your life.

Abuse kills people and their souls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just saying,,, if you're looking for comfort it is slowly getting closer. we're about half-way through with the story right now i believe haha
> 
> summary: it goes into richard's abuse and how tommy's mom doesn't help, but it doesn't go into the abuse, then at school tubbo comforts tommy. then it goes into,,, abuse in general.
> 
> (Abuse is terrible, honestly don't know what else to say. If you think you're in such a situation, tell somebody please)


	8. A Comfort to the Soul (short 1k special chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur cares for his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY SHORT (like 1/5 of what i usually do for chapters)
> 
> thank you SO MUCH for 1k kudos like huhhhh??? im so,, how?!  
> you all are the most pog, so i give you small comfort chapter ! 
> 
> i will be trying to get an actual new chapter out today or tomorrow to spoil you guys haha

Wilbur is concerned. Tommy is more absent from discord, quieter, completely different from the open kid he knows. The Tommy he knows is loud and obnoxious and everywhere, but his absence is glaringly obvious.

He knows of the divorce, knows that there’s  _ something  _ horribly hurting the kid he sees as an annoying brother and it breaks his heart. He wishes he could help the kid more. He wishes he could just fly Tommy away into a free sky, free of worries. He knows Tommy doesn’t ask for help or even like receiving it, but Wilbur worries anyways for his brother.

All of a sudden, Tommy’s discord icon goes online, his discord status of  _ “just killed a woman, feeling good”  _ popping up under his profile on the friends list.

Immediately, he goes to message Tommy.

_ WilburSoot _

Hey tommy where have u been

_ TommyInnit _

Ive been around

_ WilburSoot _

Cool wanna play minecraft?

_ TommyInnit is typing.. _

_ TommyInnit _

Sure big man

\--

Wilbur logs onto the server, rummaging through his chests as he picks out some things. Tommy said he couldn’t call, but he could play for about an hour.

_ <TommyInnit> where r u _

_ <WilburSoot> my place _

_ <TommyInnit> oh ok _

Wilbur smiles as he directs his blocky character to put together some items as Tommy’s minecraft character straight up breaks his door and walks in.

_ <WilburSoot> i know ur feeling down so i have a gift (: _ _   
_ __   
Wilbur tosses down a few diamonds and a netherite ingot, Tommy’s character looking between Wilbur and the gifts.

_ <TommyInnit> POG _

_ <TommyInnit> seriously tho.. Thx wilbur _

Wilbur grins, happy he made Tommy feel better, even if only a by a bit.

_ <WilburSoot> no problem, gremlin child _

Tommy proceeds to spam the chat with curses and all-caps, and Wilbur laughs. Now  _ that’s  _ the Tommy he knows. 

\--

Tommy smiles, because his day that he thought would be terrible (as seen to be the norm nowadays) was instantly brightened by his 'older brother'. 

It was small things that reminded Tommy that there are more people than just Tubbo that care for him. They were small things, small gestures but Tommy soaked in the affection he'd been craving for. He really is thankful for Wilbur. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i said im trying to get an actual chapter out so >:) the grind never stops
> 
> but in all seriousness, thank you all so much for 1k kudos and all of your comments. Yesterday ended off terribly for me, and I felt like trash today.. but you guys made me feel a lot better. you made me smile and thats more than i expected out of today.
> 
> thank you so much and i love you all <3
> 
> (especially the discord server im in. you guys made my day 100% better i swear)


	9. Red Blood, Glass Shards, Calling Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain.
> 
> \--
> 
> When Tommy wakes, he calls Technoblade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW//Child Abuse 
> 
> because it goes into it today. um,,,
> 
> lmao hope you all enjoyed the fluff chapter cause shit goes d o w n
> 
> spoiled you guys with a fluff chapter AND this chapter pog <3

Tommy had been happy recently. Suspiciously so, but he supposed it was because Richard was home less often ( _ his mom was also home less often, but now Tommy didn’t pay as much attention to that anymore) _ .

He should have  _ known  _ that something would happen, that something would throw off his balance. Because Tommy didn’t  _ get  _ this happy and  _ stay  _ this happy for long.

Tommy can only prepare himself for whatever the universe throws at him now.

\--

  
  


Tommy’s always been a skinny child, with gangly arms and bony legs, only good for speed. His skin easily gains small scratches and scrapes- he’s not at all good for defense or even offense. Too weak, and he cries out as he holds his arms in a crossing motion in front of his face. It’s all he can do to cover his chest, which he knows that if Richard hits them it will be a million times more dangerous than if it were his arms.

He can live with a broken arm, not broken ribs.

But Richard is relentless, and Tommy tries scrambling up to the door, to get out, to  _ escape-  _ but then Richard steps onto his leg harshly and he yelps as he turns again to face Richard, who hits him with the empty alcohol bottle in his hands.

It had taken only a moment to find out that Richard was worse when intoxicated.

The glass shatters against his skin, pieces sticking into his arm- small pieces, but they hurt nonetheless.

A scream leaves Tommy’s chest as Richard steps onto his leg, the older man wiping his face, “Y-you punk, better- learn your place.”

Tears run down his face in streams as Richard grabs his wrist, before twisting back his arm. Tommy lets out a breathless gasp as he hears something crack, and his vision goes black from the pain.

\--

When Tommy wakes up, it is with trouble and to  _ pain pain  _ **_pain-_ **

His arm is surely broken, and he can barely move it. He thinks his leg is bleeding, and there’s still glass in his arms. His only thoughts are to find help, to fix the wounds but he doesn’t know  _ how,  _ never  _ needed  _ to know how to safely remove glass from skin.

He’s crying, and he can barely stop, because it  _ hurts,  _ and he’s barely able to have a coherent thought, but he crawls to his room anyways, because he needs to get  _ someone.  _ He’s bleeding, and he doesn’t know how to make it  _ stop.  _

His laptop. 

Techno’s online.

With a ragged breath and teary eyes, Tommy pressed the  _ discord call. _

\--

  
  


“Tommy?” Techno asked, wondering why the kid was calling him at two in the morning.

“H-hey, Techno? Do you- do you know how to fix a, uh, a broken arm?”   
  
Techno’s breath stops, “Tommy? What the hell happened?”

A sniffle is heard from the phone, and panic fills Techno’s entire being. Yet his voice betrays none of his emotions, “Tommy, what’s your address?”   
  
Tommy mumbles it out, sounding tired and as if he was going to collapse at any moment.

“Tommy, do  _ not  _ fall asleep, I swear,  _ please,”  _ Techno pleads, forwarding the address to Wilbur (the closest person to Tommy), “Tommy, please, can you call 999?”

Tommy takes in a breath, “Um- I think I can?”

“Okay, stay on call with me okay? Are you bleeding anywhere?” Techno asks, trying to remain calm because he needs to stay  _ calm  _ for Tommy. Which is pretty difficult when he himself is on the verge of a panic attack.

“Um- yeah, I think so- wait, I’m going to call 999,” Tommy fumbles over his words, and then Techno hears the sound of a phone ringing and an immediate answer. Tommy’s talking over the phone, but Techno just needs to keep him awake for now.

“Tommy, when are they going to get there?” 

“F-five minutes or so. They’re coming as quickly as they can, they said to not sleep,” Tommy answers, short of breath simply from heading to his mother’s room to grab his phone.

“I’ll stay with you, okay? Do you want me to tell Wilbur to head to the nearby hospital for you?” Techno asks, going through other tabs on his computer for a flight to England.

“Um- sure, yes please,” Tommy says, and Techno flinches simply from the use of  _ please,  _ because Tommy was always hesitant to use the word.

Techno doesn’t want to think about how Tommy got hurt, why Tommy sounds so  _ scared,  _ but he knows exactly  _ why  _ Tommy is like this- his brain pieces together the information faster than he can stop it, and red hot rage rises in his chest. He immediately thinks of how easy it’d be to hide a body, he could overpower a grown man-

He focuses again on the issue at hand and keeping Tommy awake, “Hey, why don’t you tell me about that project you were working on in minecraft?”

Techno and Tommy stay there, talking- Tommy rambling about the tower he wants to build, while Techno makes sure he stays awake until help gets there. 

Techno stays on call until the workers bring Tommy into an ambulance, until Tommy falls asleep and Techno’s sure he’ll be okay.

Techno’s apartment is silent, and he stares at the phone.

His friend had been on the verge of passing out, had probably woken up from being unconscious with a broken arm and probably other injuries, and-

Hot tears dripped down his cheeks, his head feeling too warm as he falls to his knees, holding himself as he cried and prayed to deities he did not believe in, as he pleaded for Tommy to stay safe and protected.

He begs,  _ begs  _ that Tommy’s childhood isn’t ruined anymore, because Tommy will be thrown into adulthood so soon and Tommy was so  _ hurt,  _ and Techno doesn’t want that.

Techno wants Tommy to be  _ okay. _

Techno stares at the bought flight ticket to England, luckily for tomorrow.

Even if he had to fly to a whole other country, he would be there for his annoying little brother.

\--

Tommy sleeps in a hospital room, while a brunette runs into the hospital asking for Tommy’s room. 

“He’s like my little brother,  _ please,  _ I can wait in the hall, I just want to know if he’s  _ okay, _ ” Wilbur pleads, eyes red from tears.

“You can sit here, and we’ll get back to you on it, okay?” 

Wilbur nods, before sitting in one of the chairs and holding his head in his hands, droplets of water falling onto the floor.

_ Please be okay, TommyInnit. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (: 
> 
> seriously though, ty all so much for 1k kudos,,,


	10. White Hospital Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur and Tommy talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo this chapter wrote itself, i swear. i have plots thought out, and I expected only 14 chapters in this work, but here i stand realizing i'll need more haha.
> 
> :) enjoy !

When Tommy wakes up to white hospital walls, he isn’t sure how to feel. It feels like a nightmare that he’s woken up from, but the cast on his arm says otherwise. 

It was real.

He feels lifeless, as if life is fuzzy and foggy and something so distant he couldn’t even reach it. He sits there for who knows long, simply staring blankly at the wall.

What will happen now? He’ll have to pay the hospital bills, but he can’t go back to Richard. He  _ can’t  _ return, not to that pain, but he doesn’t want to  _ go  _ either because that means he leaves his mother and Tubbo and he couldn’t handle that.

Then, a nurse walks in, surprised he’s awake.

“Hello, Tommy. I’m sure you’re confused, but how are you feeling?” the nurse asks, quickly grabbing a glass of water for him. He takes it gratefully, having not even realized how parched he was.

“Thanks.. I, um.. I don’t feel that hurt,” Tommy answered, looking down to his cast.

\--

It’s such a long process, of Tommy confirming he feels much better, the nurses asking him what happened, asking him where his guardians were- but Tommy just looked away and handed the nurse one of the numbers of Tubbo’s mothers.

Tommy didn’t want to have them call his mom, because he  _ knew  _ his mom wouldn’t care, knew she’d look at him with quiet disgust and annoyance and he  _ couldn’t have her eyes look at him like that anymore.  _

Suddenly, Tommy realizes the person he’d called was Techno and that he was probably worried for him. He doesn’t have his phone on him or anything, so he can’t even check.

He frowns, before a nurse gets his attention, “Sorry, but apparently a friend of yours has been waiting in the hall everyday for you? Do you know a man named Wilbur Soot?”   
  
Tommy’s shell-shocked. Wilbur Soot himself, came to Tommy?   
  
Why?   
  
Tommy almost forgets to answer the nurse, but he manages to get an answer out of his jumbled thoughts, “Yeah, I do. Could you… let him in?”   
  
The nurse seems to contemplate it, but no family members have come for the teen, and he does know the man. She smiles and allows the man in.

\--

Tommy is.. Scared, in a way. He knows how Wilbur will react. Wilbur will want answers.

But- is he  _ ready?  _ Is he ready to relive what happened, to come to terms as to the hurt he received? Is he ready to admit to Wilbur Soot, his older brother figure he so wanted to become like, that he is not even nearly as strong as he puts himself out to be?   
  
Is he ready to admit he’s weak?   
  
He doesn’t know the answer to his own question. He wants to share the weight with others, with others he can trust such as Wilbur, yet his mind whispers into his ears and makes him doubt himself.

Tommy doesn’t want to ruin Wilbur’s image of him. But maybe, just maybe- he can let Wilbur see how he really is.

The door opens.

\--

Wilbur was surprised when the nurse told him to enter the room. HE thought he’d be kicked out by now.

But he wouldn’t lose the chance to see if his  _ little brother  _ was alright.

“Tommy?” he asks quietly into the room. Tommy sits there, staring straight at him with bright blue eyes.

“Hey, big man-” Tommy starts, before tears suddenly fill Wilbur’s eyes as he runs to hug Tommy in his arms.

“God, I was- I was so worried when Techno texted me that you were in the hospital, are you okay?” Wilbur asks, his head just about reaching Tommy’s shoulders from the position of the hug.

Tommy sits still for a moment, not having expected the warm hug that suddenly enveloped him. It was so  _ wonderful  _ Tommy realized. It seemed as if it had been so long since physical contact with another person made him feel  _ safe  _ and not as if he was trapped in a cage. He wraps his perfectly-fine arm around Wilbur’s back.

Tears dripped down Tommy’s cheeks, as he answered weakly, “Yeah, I’m good now, Wilby.”   
  
The two hug like that for a bit, before eventually Wilbur pulls away.

“What happened?” Wilbur questioned, worry clear in his voice before he shakes his head, “No- do you  _ want  _ to tell me what happened, Tommy?”   
  
And so Tommy explains.

Tommy talks about his parents’ relationship falling into shambles, not caring for the effects it had on him. He tells Wilbur how his mom brought into a new man, and when that man hurt him, she looked the other way. 

He cries the entire time, but Wilbur sits right there, listening and giving comfort.

Wilbur sits, watching his brother’s shoulders shake and voice wobble, wondering why he held onto this pain all by his own.

“Thank you for telling me, Tommy. Do you want to take a nap?” Wilbur kindly asks him.

Tommy doesn’t care that he feels like a child. He nods his head and lays down into the uncomfortable hospital bed as Wilbur’s quiet singing voice fills his ears.

He feels the safest he has in a long time, and sleep comes easy to him. 

\--

Wilbur feels rage and sorrow fill his being. He told himself he’d protect Tommy. But as Tommy lays there, with his arm in a cast and treated bruises lining his arms, Wilbur hangs his head in his hands, sobbing openly. 

His little brother, his happy little brother, was so  _ scarred.  _

Wilbur kept his cries quiet, not wanting to bother Tommy. Tommy  _ needed  _ somebody strong to be with him.

But how could Wilbur be strong, knowing that now Tommy felt pain like he has, knowing that now Tommy would be scared of shadows and angry people, scared of the pain that comes with somebody’s anger.

He just wanted his brother to be  _ happy.  _ He just wanted Tommy to be safe, to feel warmth and love, to be a  _ kid.  _ He didn’t want Tommy to grow up defensive and scared of others, didn’t want Tommy to become a whole adult so quickly when he deserved a childhood.

All he could do was protect Tommy. He had to. Even at the risk of himself, he would keep his little brother happy.

He couldn’t let somebody else hold the same experience as him, not Tommy,  _ not his little brother. _

If he had to tear apart whomever hurt Tommy, if he had to tear them apart  _ piece by piece,  _ he would do it. If it protected Tommy, he’d do anything.

It might sound insane, might sound absolutely  _ crazy,  _ to even let the thought of murder cross your brain simply to protect another, but if it makes Tommy feel safer, to be farther away from the one who hurt him, even hell would be too close for that man to be.

Wilbur doesn’t realize when he falls asleep in the plastic hospital chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're getting close to the end though in case you guys haven't noticed (:  
> the comfort is slowly creeping towards me !   
> this chapter was mainly comfort,,, but i just had to put some pain. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed reading ! will try to get a new chapter out asap, but I'm writing all these mostly just the day I post it @-@ 
> 
> i love comments !! and support !! and ily all the most !!


	11. Two Arrivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno arrives. So does Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not lying when i say all of this writes itself. plot?? out the window, no clue where that went.
> 
> dunno what to call this chapter rip
> 
> on the other hand. filler chapter-ish? or a set up for angst. who knowwwsssss?? (i say, as if im not the author smh)

When Techno arrives, he’s not completely sure as to which room Tommy is or even where he is; but he does know that he could probably lie his way into the room. 

But what’s the point in doing that when you can call Wilbur?  
  
And so Techno does exactly that, Wilbur’s tired voice coming out of the device in gibberish. Technoblade face-palms, sighing.

“Wilbur, I cannot in any possible way understand what you’re sayin. Just give me the room number.”  
  
In between Wilbur’s grumble of an answer, Technoblade caught a few numbers and the next thing he knows, he’s at the door of Tommy’s hospital room.

He’s probably not even supposed to be here, not being related family and not knowing how British hospitals work at all, but he didn’t care. Not when Tommy was in the hospital after calling him in a panic. He flew over from _America_ on an impulse after all.

_(He can call it an impulse, but it really doesn’t feel like that. It felt like a string tying him to the ones closest to him, that tugged and dragged him all the way here.)_

For a moment, anxiety makes him pause at the door. Does he knock? Does he call out through the door? It’s at times like this that Technoblade curses his awkwardness, wishing he could just _choose._ Instead, he hesitates at the door with his hand hovering just over the handle.

Finally making up his mind, Technoblade opens the door quietly.

In the room is Wilbur sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair, head resting on a bedside table. Techno frowns, taking off his jacket and gently placing it under his brother’s head.

Techno stares at Tommy, who sleeps peacefully in his hospital bed. The open window lets in a cool breeze, the gray sky making the room feeling even more dreary. The bandages on Tommy’s cheek and the cast on his arm makes Technoblade feel a mix of anger and disappointment in himself. He feels terrible, for letting his _friend_ be hurt, injured- it feels like he could’ve done better. His brain doesn’t supply him with a clear answer, but the feeling alone is enough.

Techno stands at the wall, leaning his head back onto the solid surface as he sighed.

\--

When Wilbur woke up again, it was to the smell of coffee and small chatter between familiar voices. His vision is a bit hazy, but he blinks and realizes both Techno and Phil are in the room. Maybe Wilbur should be concerned as to how Techno came all the way from America, but Wilbur wouldn’t be surprised if the man had a ticket constantly ready. 

“Techno..?” Wilbur’s sleepily grumbles. Technoblade grins and softly swings a coffee cup to Wilbur’s head.

“Mornin’, Wil,” Techno says in his ever-monotone voice. But for some reason, it makes Wilbur feel a bit better about the whole situation.

Phil stands in the corner, thinking and wondering. Why had Tommy chosen to stay quiet? Well- _no,_ he knew why Tommy didn’t, reasonably. Yet the part of him not analyzing every detail and action was crying out for the young teenage boy with bruises and a broken arm because an adult _hurt him._ Adults, who were supposed to _protect_ kids. Phil didn’t show it on his face, but he wanted to scream and cry and rage and grieve for Tommy’s childhood, for Tommy’s happiness. The road will be rough for Tommy with this, and Phil does not want to see Tommy suffer as Tommy seems to have been for the past few months.

Phil is finally here _with_ Tommy, right next to him and able to do all possible to help the teen.

And he would. 

\--

Tommy woke up to a mostly quiet room as he carefully sat up- almost forgetting about the cast on his arm restricting his movements. He gets up and immediately, a gentle arm helps him sit up properly. He looks up to see Phil himself (because while Tommy never specifically showed how he looked, the others did), standing in his hospital room. Wilbur was enough, so why was _Phil_ here as well?   
  
_Why did they care?_ _  
_ _  
_ Techno’s dry laugh echoes from a corner of the room, “Careful, Tommy.”   
  
Tommy recognizes the awkward tone, but he can’t quite blame Techno. After all Technoblade had never been one for socializing or even interacting with others. Tommy paused in his thoughts.

Technoblade lived in… America.

Why was he _in England?_ _  
  
_

Tears fell down Tommy’s eyes unwillingly. They seemed to do that a lot, recently. Immediately, Tommy could hear the panic of Technoblade- but Phil just leaned down and rested his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. And Tommy wiped his tears away while Techno awkwardly hovered around, and Phil didn’t say a single cruel word.

“Why were you _crying?_ ” Technoblade asks incredulously. Tommy wants to laugh, to curse out the other as normal Tommy would. But right now, he’s tired and just grateful that they’re _here._

“Mind your own business,” Tommy answers anyways, because even if Tommy felt out of himself, he was _Tommy Innit,_ gremlin rat child. 

He had a reputation to retain.

Phil frowned, “Tommy, we really do need you to tell us what happened.”  
  
A sinking feeling filled Tommy’s stomach. He didn’t _want_ to talk about it. Tommy’s breathing quickened as he felt _chains, cages, anger-_ **_please don’t get mad-_ **

“Tommy,” Phil’s voice stabilizes him, bringing him out of his own mind. Tommy’s terrified, scared of his own mind, and he doesn’t want to come near the topic of his injuries or how he got them because-

Because why? _Why?_ Why didn’t he tell anybody? 

Before it was due to attachment to his mom, the starving need for affection, but now-

Now it was very clear how she’d abandoned him. She abandoned him, while these three came to his aid.

It felt like Tommy kept smashing through more rose-colored glasses surrounding him. He wonders how many more he will smash and how many more of the real worlds’ colors he will see. 

Right now, Tommy owes an explanation to all three of them. To Technoblade, who answered his call and talked with him and _flew over here_ for him. To Wilbur, who hugged him and sat there all night with him. To Phil and his never ending patience. 

“It started after the divorce…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!! sorry but please don't expect any new updates the following week or during christmas. i'll be doing a winter prompts week though from the 18th to the 25th ;)
> 
> [will include shipping, so if you don't like that just,, idk don't read it. walkdmawa]
> 
> [EDIT: OLDMWA SOMEBODY IN COMMENTS ASKED WHAT SHIPPING AND I AM NOT DOING NONPLATONIC SBI I SWEAR ID NEVER THERES LIKE SKEPHHALO AND DREAMNOTNAP AND DREAMNOTFOUND AND SOME GENERAL WORKS BUT NO SBI SHIPS ADWKDDOADWDAO]
> 
> im dying and i got zero sleep last night but SPEEDRUNNING CHAPTERS POG


	12. [Short Christmas Special] Holidays Warming the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Christmas was bad. This one wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short christmas gift to you, from the author ! merry christmas, really. your guys support makes me feel amazing and thats the greatest gift this year :)
> 
> GOD THAT WAS SAPPY but hey- i love you ALL ! HAPPY HOLIDAYS !
> 
> (as you can see i gave up on winter prompt week because timed things stress me out)

Two Christmases ago, it’d been normal. It was normal as any other Christmas; with spirit filling Tommy’s soul, a smile stuck on his face. He helped his dad hang up decorations, helped his mom decorate the tree. He baked cookies for tradition and not for a myth.

Last Christmas, the one right before the new year marking the start of his terrible year, his parents argued a lot. His mother asked his father as to why he had no spirit of Christmas. His father got angered more easily, more lazy.

It really did seem as though Tommy were the only one who had cared for it, truly. He went to sleep on Christmas night and begged for his parents not to fight; for them to be  _ happy  _ in each others’ presence.

It quite obviously did not come true.

This Christmas, he spent it with neither his mother or his father but with his friends. 

Tommy drank hot chocolate with Tubbo, the two laughing and Tommy’s soul seemed to heal- Tommy laughed, loud and obnoxious and the way everybody remembered before his parents divorced and Richard happened. 

Phil and Tommy and Techno decorated the tree, Phil the only person really able to decorate while he and Techno stood confused each time Phil said there was a blank spot on their seemingly full tree. But he and Techno shared humorous, exasperated looks while Phil grinned.

And Wilbur sang them Merry Christmas, in a dramatic, Wilbur-like way that made Tommy smile wide, it reaching his cheeks and it being genuine. The room filled with laughter and joy and such a great  _ feeling  _ of Christmas that Tommy felt warm. 

_ Family. _

  
This Christmas was warm, full of everything Tommy imagined  _ family  _ to be like. Opening presents that he was truly grateful just to be given; seeing joy on his friends’ faces when his gift matched their wishes this year. This moment shone brilliantly in his mind, making the darkness and fear that he’d felt disappear for the time being. The light cleared them away, making him giddy and  _ himself. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a holly jolllyy christmasssssss
> 
> hope you all spend time w family, friends, & loved ones in general !! happy holidays :D


	13. A Call, Relief, Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the talk,
> 
> a call,
> 
> and Phil worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school is back sobs
> 
> BUT WOOHOO UPDATE!! since winter break is over i present you a chapter which i speedran <3
> 
> i got no sleep lmao

The talk with Phil and Techno is long and meaningful. Explaining it is difficult, Tommy’s words getting choked up in his throat, tears slipping down his cheeks silently, and his emotions spiking up through it all. Yet Phil and Techno patiently sit there, with Phil wiping away tears and Techno calmly telling him it’s okay if he can’t.

It takes a while, but eventually Phil and Techno come to an understanding. Tommy’s tired. The simple mental and emotional capacity it took to speak aloud about his recent experiences made him feel a deep sense of tired; not like the recent type that was from being tired of  _ existing _ ; nor the type that showed up without rest and in dark circles- it felt more like a weight on his soul.

Yet when Tommy finished, the sense of relief and freedom made him feel calmer than he had in weeks; it really did feel as though a weight from his back was removed. But if Tommy were to describe it, it would be as if a dark cloud had remained in his mind. And  _ venting  _ let that dark cloud out, to disappear from the light of the outside world and care from others.

And at the end, Phil opens his arms for a hug- and Tommy accepts. It’s such a fatherly hug, so warm and safe.

“We’ll keep you safe from now on, alright?” Phil whispers to him, and once again Tommy’s tears drip from his cheeks.

Tommy doesn’t immediately sleep, wanting to keep some resemblance of a sleep schedule; but he talks with Phil and Techno for a while as Wilbur sleeps. 

Most of all, they talk about what is going to happen to Tommy’s future- will he be sent back to his mother? Will he need to face her uncaring eyes and the horrible feeling of being ignored? Will Tommy once again hide bruises underneath long-sleeved shirts and wipe away tears in the safe darkness of night?   
  
But Technoblade promises that they will not allow that to happen, and Wilbur gently lays a hand on his shoulder while Phil nods in agreement. Tommy wants to be hesitant, wants to say he cannot trust the three- but they’d all arrived in his time of need, to help him and  _ protect  _ him. It’s easy to trust them, to cling onto the affection they’re giving him after it being so long of starving without it.

  
However, even Tommy knows that if  _ (“when,” Techno says)  _ he does not end up with his mother, he’ll be sent to his father. His father in America, who left without a word of care, who he feels as though abandoned him to his mother and the  _ pain  _ and loneliness.

At the same time, Tommy cannot truly blame his dad, either. Because he just wants to be able to feel the parental love again that he’s missed, to trust his own blood- he wants to  _ so  _ badly. He misses his dad, just as he missed the loving gaze of his mother-

And Tommy wonders if this relates to the  _ ‘never know how good you’ve had it until it’s gone’ _ quote.

Because it does feel like that. Even if before he was in a cage, it was safe and secure and he had his parents’ love- now, he felt like he’d been shoved into the dark, endless pit below and cracked his ribs at the bottom.

But it’s not as though he can ignore any of the three who came to his aid, that brought a light to the dark pit and pulled him up gently from the floor. He cannot ignore Wilbur, who gave gentle words and warm hugs and humor he’s used to from the man. He can’t forget Techno’s panicked voice in the call, the relief on his face upon seeing that Tommy was alright. And of course, there is Phil with his undying patience and the sense of protection Tommy gained simply in his presence.

It’s been such a tiring process, but Tommy also knows there is so much more to come. It won’t all be solved simply because his friends arrived, because he’s away from Richard now. 

He knows so when the nurse tells him they contacted his father, and that his dad’s preparing a flight and wishes to call him.

Tommy tries to settle the anxiety in his stomach. Their last interaction had ended badly, had hurt their relationship terribly and-

Tommy was scared. He didn’t want his father to look at him with distasteful eyes, to have malice written on his face. He didn’t know if he could take it.

But with Philza’s empathetic expression, Tommy finds a shred of courage inside of him to pick up the phone and hold it to his ear, dialing his father’s number.

\--

For a moment, after his father picks up there is an awkward silence. Tommy speaks up, hating the quiet as he always has, “Hello..?”   
  
He sounds uncertain. He’s sure of that, and he hates it, knowing it makes him appear  _ weak. _

Tommy’s not expecting the relieved sob that comes through the speakers, or his fathers’ rambles- 

But he welcomes them gladly, with relief seeping through his bones and tears rolling down his cheeks with the realization that his father really did not abandon him, that his father still loved him and cared for him. 

The call ends and Phil does not mention the tear tracks on Tommy’s cheeks, does not mention the red-rimmed eyes, but does gently smile upon seeing the small, relieved grin on Tommy’s face.

Still, Phil thinks thoroughly about what will happen next for Tommy.

Phil wonders if Tommy could handle moving away to a new country, away from Tubbo and away from Wilbur and him. Because if that is where Tommy’s dad lives, Phil questions on whether or not his father will move back to England for his son. 

Phil wants to help Tommy, and he knows both Techno and Wilbur are willing to do anything for the teen; but there is the matter of Tommy’s guardianship. Although Phil would love to take in the kid, to protect Tommy from nearby- Tommy can make his own choice, and who knows if Tommy’s father will be willing to let Phil. Phil has no blood-relationship to Tommy, nothing truly connecting the two in a way that would allow Phil to take in the kid.

In the end, it will boil down to whether or not Tommy’s father will let Tommy choose, and what choice Tommy makes. Phil doesn’t want to put another burden like this on Tommy’s shoulder, but he also knows that if Tommy is not presented with the choice the teen may regret it for a very long time.

  
And if anything, Phil just wants Tommy to be  _ happy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> noot noot
> 
> i speedran this chapter as youu can tellll :)) 
> 
> (i got minecraft java and its all i know now)
> 
> im getting back into posting daily yeaaaaaHHH


	14. Seeing Somebody in Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's dad is supposed to be here at four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR ELEVEN WHOLE DAYS. OOPS.
> 
> my updates have been slow here as i cannot physically update two multichaps in one day, and i was focusing on my other one. but i got this out, and i plan on getting the next one out asap !
> 
> ps: i was feeling really good today, then really bad afterwards so as i was writing this i was sorta distracting myself from reality. haha. that sounds sad. anyways, tell me if it feels off or anything bc of that D:
> 
> enjoy :)

Tommy doesn’t know what to say to his father. What can he say? It’s his first time seeing his father in person in what feels like a lifetime. It feels like it has been too much time but at the same too little since he’d last seen his own  _ dad.  _

He has questions. Tommy wants to know why his father cheated. Why his dad left to America so quickly, why he’d been left alone here with his mother- 

But Tommy doesn’t really feel like asking them. Won’t the answer just be terrible?   
  
He’d rather keep his father’s reasons a mystery than something that could hurt him.

Tommy’s scared. His dad is coming at four in the afternoon. It’s currently three forty-five o’clock. He doesn’t even know what he’s going to say, what his dad will say-

Seeing his dad in person was so different from seeing him in real life.    
  
Tommy’s panicking. He knows that. He is  _ most definitely  _ panicking.

The clock ticking on the wall is so loud in the quiet room- the three others that had been with him left so he could have privacy. But it made the room so silent and tense, with only himself in it that Tommy felt as though the air was pressing against his entire being, making his limbs stiff and his breath grow quick.

_ Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. _

The clock was so  _ loud.  _ Tommy wonders if their conversation would be like one with his mother; oppression filling the air and force put in every word, Tommy yelling angrily in his own mind but quiet to the outside world. Tommy wonders if his father will be hypocritical and not see his side; if his father will say horrible words to make Tommy feel all too small in his own home.

He and his father were not so close. Tommy was closer to his mother, adored her more- so blindly did he look up to his mother he did not realize she was leading him off a cliff.    
  
His father was not like that. Tommy would not fall off of the ledge again, but Tommy was so injured he couldn’t handle even a kick. 

Tommy was terrified. But he knew this talk had to happen, and he could not forget their phone call and his father’s relieved sobs. 

Confrontation was something he feared. Tommy knew that; how could he not? Confrontation terrified him after his mother taught him ‘talks’ were just her bringing his esteem lower and lower, making Tommy feel terrible and all alone.

  
  


His dad is different, he must remind himself.    
  
Tommy hopes so as the hospital door opens.

\--

For a moment, his father and him stare at each other. There is a tension in the air, loud and overwhelming.    
  
It’s broken when his dad scoops him up into a hug. It’s not warm or the best, considering Tommy is lanky and at the height where it is uncomfortable to hug his dad- but they sink into each other, and Tommy has tears running down his cheeks before he can stop them. The broken tension makes Tommy cry in relief, in knowing his father really does care- Tommy almost wants to stay safe in his father’s arms, but he knows that’s not possible. 

So now they need to talk. Properly. Tommy thinks it’s about time his father finds out about what happened, how he got in the hospital, why his mother wasn’t there-

Tommy doesn’t want to keep retelling his experiences. It  _ hurt.  _ But he knew it would be better, healthier to let it out instead of bottling it up- it would be like bottling a storm up, and letting it hurt only him instead of letting it free to dissipate in the air.

“Kid, how- how did you even get in the hospital?” his dad asks. His dad, however, does not ask upon why his mother is not here.

Tommy gives a tired smile. Once again does he say aloud what happened- his dad’s expression growing more and more horrified as he continued. It’s the same story, over and over again, but it hurts just as much. His dad is silent the entire time, a stormy expression upon his face.

\--

He does not want to believe it.    
  
He does not want to believe he has failed as a father. He figured that- if  _ anything,  _ Tommy wouldn’t want to see him. He thought leaving to America would  _ help. _

How could he have known the person he’d stayed with for years, a woman who loved her child more than anything else in the world - would stand by as her own son gets beat? How could he  _ know? _ _   
_ _   
_ Guilt and pain swirl around like a hurricane as he listens to what Tommy says. His own son, with a broken arm from somebody his mother brought home.

He chokes on a sob, “Tommy, why didn’t- why didn’t you call me?”   
  
Quietly does his son answer, “I.. thought you wouldn’t care.”   
  
Even more so is he disappointed in himself, “Of  _ course  _ I would care. It..might not seem like that at all times, but I  _ do _ .”   
  
Tommy nods.

\--

Phil stands in the hall outside of Tommy’s hospital room. He wonders what Tommy’s father is speaking of to him; wonders if Tommy’s father will not hurt the teen even further.

The door creaks open, Tommy’s father stepping out.

“We need to talk,” the blond man says, looking to Phil’s eyes. 

“Sure,” Phil responds with, wondering what the man will say.

“Do you think Tommy would prefer to stay here rather than return to America with me?”   
  
“...What?”   
  
\--

“Tommy, I- I’m not ready to take care of him. I don’t think so. And I don’t think he’d want to go to America anyways,” the man sighs, looking down to the floor. Of all things, Phil did not expect this.

“Who  _ would  _ take care of Tommy, then? Relatives? Close friends?” Phil asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe Tubbo’s moms, or Tommy’s aunt- I want to ask Tommy about it first.”   
  
Phil is impressed, and relieved most of all. To think that Tommy’s dad thought of Tommy’s own opinion. Phil’s really just glad Tommy’s dad is a nice guy, unlike Tommy’s mother.

“Well, we can talk to him about it tomorrow? You can definitely ask him about it. I’m just sorry we’ve been nonstop with these talks,” Phil suggests.

  
“Yeah.”   
  
The two stand there in silence, two men whom were fathers to Tommy, blood-related or not. They share companionship in wanting the kid to have a happy future, in wanting Tommy to be  _ himself  _ but not quite knowing how to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao guys i was planning to kill off tommy's dad and put tommy in an orphanage at first.
> 
> also, there's only two or three chapters left.
> 
> (i say that, but there will probably be more oops)


	15. A Decision, Custody, and A Bright future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy has to choose; stay in a familiar place with ones he truly feels like himself around, or follow a familiar face that he had wished so dearly to love him (and who had turned out to love him after all).
> 
> Other than such a choice, he must also go through a custody 'battle' once again.
> 
> Only this time it doesn't feel much like a battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you see what I updated?
> 
> :)

Another day passes before Phil and Tommy’s father decide to confront him on his decision. In the corner, Techno stands trying to pretend he is not listening closely to their conversation.

Their murmurs still reach his ears, and a faint uncomfortable feeling creeps up his back. He wishes Wilbur hadn’t needed to return home. Techno wishes for a lot of things.

He wishes Tommy hadn’t been hurt like that in the first place. He wishes that he could take Tommy in. He wishes Tommy didn’t have to deal with so much right now.

As of right now, all Techno can do is listen in as Tommy’s asked to choose between familiarity in the land around him that he’d grown up in or his own father.

\--

Tommy doesn’t  _ want  _ to choose. Tommy doesn’t want to have to  _ decide.  _

He doesn’t want to be a bother. He’s  _ scared.  _ He’s  _ terrified,  _ even. He shouldn’t be. If he were to admit it, he knows he should be fine with it. In a perfect story, he’d be saved and then go with his dad happily and live there. And then, he’d be happy forever.

Life isn’t a story, though. What happens if he does go with his dad? What if his dad changes in a flash just as his mom did?   
  
If his mother could go from caring and overprotective to neglecting and borderline abusive then- 

Then what was stopping his dad from doing the same? What stopped his father from turning to a monster as well? What would keep his father from throwing things at his head, from saying sharp words that dig into his mind like knives?   
  


In a way, Tommy knew it was normal to be scared. People hurt by ones they thought they could trust were normally scared to be hurt by similar situations. But Tommy  _ hated  _ it. He wishes he could get past it; he wouldn’t be hurt anymore. But no matter what he says, he simply cannot believe himself.

Tommy wishes he could return to the past self he knew. He wishes he could return to loud, brave Tommy Innit who didn’t care in the slightest of what others thought. Even if that was a mask he hid behind, it was  _ normal. _

Tommy Innit was supposed to be the bravest.

Tommy felt small and weak, and he hated it.

Even more does he worry what his father will feel if he decides to go with Phil. Maybe a small part of him already  _ knew  _ that he would want to stay.    
  
A larger part of him knew he had always trusted his friends more than he did his parents.

And most of all, maybe Tommy had already made his choice.

Tommy looks his father and Philza straight in the eyes and tells them he wants to stay.

  
  


\--

\---

\--

It’s not over yet. How could it be, when Tommy is still rightfully in the custody of his mother? Tommy belongs to his mother who neglected him and allowed somebody she brought into their home to harm him. All while watching with cold eyes.

They get a lawyer.

And once again does Tommy go to court, hating how he is not two years older and belonging to himself.

\--

Tommy doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to see his mother, or to see  _ Dick  _ even if he is handcuffed. His mother doesn’t look happy at all, with her face stone cold as if she doesn’t care at all.

It hurts.

  
  


“Why am I even  _ here? _ ” his mother’s voice rasps out. Tommy looks up at her, speaking out of turn and sounding annoyed.

She continues, “You can let my ex-husband  _ have  _ him. I don’t care.”   
  
Her words feel like a bullet in his chest, stopping him from breathing and only allowing him to bleed through the open hole leaving him vulnerable.

_ He thought- he thought- _

_ He had at least thought she  _ **_cared a little._ **

Still he contains his tears. He stores them away in the back of his mind for him to cry about later as he begs himself to remember that if  _ he  _ doesn’t matter to  _ her, she  _ doesn’t matter to  _ him. _

It is a lie, but he grasps onto it like a lifeline. The lie is all he has right now to stop him from truly breaking down in full. Whatever he thought was painful before- from the bruises given to him by Richard or even his mother not doing anything-

He’d wanted to believe she was scared. Tommy had wanted to think she’d been relying on Richard, for  _ somebody-  _ and then was too terrified to help her son.

Tommy had hoped. Despite her allowing Richard to harm him, Tommy had still longed for the love of his mother.

It was a hopeless type of longing, with this truly showing his mother’s real nature.

A part of him breaks away.

\--

Once again is it a blur. Some part of Tommy pays attention, taking in the knowledge and storing it away because it  _ is  _ useful. The more emotional part simply closes itself off, wanting to contain the sadness trying to spill out of the container Tommy had built for it.

Faintly, Tommy knows his lawyer was smart- and very good at her job. She got Richard to prison  _ (Tommy flinches as Richard curses at him before being sent away) _ , and even made sure his mother paid for what she did.

Although Tommy’s sure any lawyer could have won considering his mother hadn’t even wanted custody.

Tommy had really wanted to trap himself in his room to freely cry. And maybe both his father and Phil sensed that. Tommy had started making his way to his room - his  _ familiar  _ room that he’d gotten back after they bought back the house he’d lived in all his life - when Techno stopped him in his tracks.

Tommy stiffens when Techno’s arms carefully wrap around him. Techno doesn’t say a word, probably not knowing what to say, but just the hug is enough for him.

Quiet tears run down his cheeks, but he smiles as they pull apart and Techno ruffles his hair. Tommy turns to his room, knowing that even if his mother does not want him there are people that  _ do. _

He also wonders about how  _ easy  _ it is to cry around Phil, Wilbur, and even Techno.

And not once does he regret choosing to live with Phil in the house he grew up in, in the neighborhood in which he became friends with Tubbo.

  
This doesn’t mean he won’t see his dad. They promised to visit each other at least one month out of the year, every year- whether Tommy flew to America or his father flew here.    
  
Tommy sits in his room, looks out the window, and although the night feels lonely, he does not feel alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup! The next chapter is the LAST CHAPTER! Watch out, because I will actually post it asap because I'm so very excited to reach the end. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked how this chapter was considering I was uncertain about it haha? 
> 
> I'll be posting a LONG end note next chapter, to thank everybody who stuck with me to the end of my very first multichap, and to discuss my future plans! 
> 
> (PS: one of my plans IS to include an AU for this fic where, well, Dick is brutally murdered by Wil and Tech oops)


	16. Time Heals Wounds; Endings only Bring Beginnings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say time heals. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. Tommy wouldn’t know.
> 
> But he will hope.
> 
> Because time heals, and his new family is willing to give him all the time in the world.
> 
> \--
> 
> An ending also signals a beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! God, there's going to be such a long end note. But for now, enjoy how Tommy FINALLY gets the happiness he deserves.

Tommy wakes up groggily, rubbing his eyes and blinking tiredly at the figure in front of him. He grumbles at the person shaking him back and forth in his bed.

Who has the  _ audacity  _ to wake him up this early?   
  
Faintly over the sleepy fog in his head does he hear yelling, “Tommy, wake up, you’re gonna be late for your lesson!”   
  
Lesson? What lesson? Tommy doesn’t care about any lesson. Why can’t he just sleep? 

He tries laying back into his warm bed and the comfort of dreamless sleep, but instead the person shakes him even more. 

Tommy finally opens his eyes completely, spotting the pink hair of which belonged to his brother in all but blood and title. Techno grins almost viciously upon seeing Tommy awake, but all the blond does is glare at the other.

Finally, Tommy gets up and checks the time-

He still has an hour until his class. He swings around to glare at the  _ shorter  _ person, “ _ Why  _ the fuck did you get me up so early you utter prick! I don’t have class for a whole hour!”   
  
Techno rolls his eyes, “Did you forget? We’re meeting up with Wil at the cafe, loser.”   
  
Tommy squints at his phone, trying to remember if that was today.

“Huh.”   
  
Techno just laughs and leaves to wait outside as Tommy gets ready.

\--

The cafe is warm compared to the chill of the outside, and Tommy looks around to find the familiar beanie Wilbur always wears. Upon seeing the beanie-wearing brunette and his piss-yellow sweater, a large grin spreads upon Tommy’s face. With him being busy, well, in college and Wilbur working on producing music, Tommy hadn’t seen Wilbur in a few months. They called, yes, but seeing Wilbur in person was different.

Techno brings him over to sit down before ordering, and the three all sit together- brothers in all but blood.

Of all people to be with, these two are the second safest he’d be with- the two  _ just  _ above his father by a bit (although Tommy had visited his father in the summer and it was great, these two were his  _ older brothers _ ). 

Other than that, Phil. Phil, who had helped him so much over the years to reinforce his mental state and supported him while he  _ healed. _

Tommy grinned, let himself bask in the warmth and safety of the moment-

And even lets himself think about how far he has come; how many of his scars have healed, physical or not.

\--

Hearts are fragile things. They are so  _ easy  _ to break and hurt. Some days they are more fragile than glass; easy to shatter. This is such an easy explanation as to why people put up walls around their heart, as to why they’ve reinforced their heart with defenses of iron and steel. They have locked doors and hide themselves within themselves because they wish to protect themselves from hurting again.

It takes time to let people in again; but you have to - it’s lonely, isn’t it? All alone in your own heart surrounded only by tall walls, keeping you safe but also keeping others away.

_ Time. _

Time does so much; time ages people, time moves things along, time drags out problems, but most of all does time heal wounds. It is almost a miracle at how humans can regenerate, albeit slowly, over time. Surely the same rule applies to a broken heart; a wound  _ will  _ heal given time and a  _ chance  _ to heal.

Sometimes people will try their hardest to knock down their walls- but that’s not what they need to do. They cannot take such a brash approach; although it seems like it will work, it won’t.

They need to let the other open up the doors. They need  _ patience,  _ to show they are there and waiting. They mustn't force themself on the other. Instead of barging in and destroying their careful defenses, they need to let them  _ relax  _ and  _ let  _ them enter.

It’s easy; people crave affection no matter how much they lie to themselves. It leads to bad habits; to paying for somebody’s attention or forcing others to pay attention to them. It is a craving for  _ affection;  _ to  _ matter _ .

Sometimes, people really do need a  _ saviour.  _ When they themself cannot get up off the floor, they need a hand to help them up.

Phil did not reach out that hand. Neither did Techno or Wilbur. They could not call themselves the ‘saviours’ of Tommy, even if he thought of them that way. They did not do something sooner, and instead let Tommy get injured, let Tommy swim through a sea of hurt and loneliness.

But Tommy had yelled in a call for help, and all three came rushing.

And they picked Tommy up from the floor. They carefully carried him up with support and care, making the blond able to  _ stand  _ again. 

And ever so slowly did the scars heal. Even if it takes years, scars heal. That small scar on your forehead you had for years eventually fades away. The burn scar on your forearm will disappear at some point.

It just takes time.

\--

As Tommy laughs with his two brothers and reminds himself to call Phil later and to also call his dad at some point this week, he thinks about how he no longer flinches when somebody’s arm reaches past him. He thinks about how the dark scares him no more because he’s defeated his own demons which seem so much scarier than a  _ lack of light.  _ He thinks of how nightmares of Richard really killing him no longer emerge in his sleep. He thinks of how his mind is no longer plagued with insecurities, of fearing when ( _ if)  _ his family would abandon him but realizing they would  _ never  _ leave him.

Tommy Innit has found his place in the world, for now.

Just because his scars have healed doesn’t mean he cannot get injured again. Just because it seems like this is the ‘end’ of something doesn’t mean it isn’t the beginning for something else. If you think of his life in arcs, then maybe it’s just the beginning for a new character arc in his life. An opening for more character development than what has already happened in the years he’s had to grow.

...He has  _ really  _ spent too much time around Techno. All the english-major things were rubbing off on him. 

Still, Tommy smiles and loves the true happiness in the smile. His world is bright, and he knows that even if something bad happens, his family- and Tubbo- will be there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just.. wow. I finally finished writing this. I almost can't believe it. 
> 
> It's really amazing how much I've struggled with this fic some days. It's a vent-fic of sorts for me, where I can express my emotions. It was hard sometimes to write chapters, and I'm realllyy sorry for my weird update schedule. I'm not sorry AT ALL for hurting TommyInnit in this fic though lmao.
> 
> Anyways, this is a note for my readers and my plans.
> 
> TO MY READERS: I love you all. To everybody who opened this fic, to everybody who gave kudos, to everyone who commented, and everyone who subscribed to this work. Most of all, I adore you commenters who really did make my day. You guys gave me the MOST support on this fic, and it really did help me want to continue writing. Thank you for reading <3
> 
> MY PLANS: As you know, this is a hurt/comfort multichap series. FIRST, I will be making a second work at some point where I write one-shots or small continuations for THIS WORK SPECIFICALLY. My only plans for now for this one-shot continuation book is killing Richard, going into Tommy's family's minds, and some small oneshots from Tommy's college life. SECOND, my next OFFICIAL work for this series; a serious multichap featuring Dreamnotnap (Dream, George, Sapnap). This will be featuring their insecurities from love and of love, and how they work hard to communicate and get into a relationship together. If anybody dislikes shipping like this, you simply do not need to read. I plan to stay within the ccs boundaries, and of course this book will have no nsfw, haha. BEFORE writing this though, I will most likely take a break from this series for a while. I plan to focus on [Reflection of Oneself] and more Oneshots and continuations of my other series. I've been doing less and less oneshots, which makes me kind of sad. I also might be cooking up some sort of DNF MLB AU with some of my discord friends ;)))
> 
> FINALLY: Thank you EVERYBODY who read this entire thing, whether while it was uncomplete or when it was finished. Thank you so much for reading, and hopefully enjoying. I love you all <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to literally everybody who comments. I adore you because you guys motivate me to write the most! 
> 
> The amount of kudos this has received is insane to me, who came from a dead fandom. This work is very soon coming to an end, and I simply cannot believe how far this fic has brought me. I'm extremely attached to this work of mine.. mainly because it was my first multichap i really continued and was invested in.
> 
> I do plan on so many more multi-chaptered works.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


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